“I Just Need a Break”: Questions to Ask Yourself + Practical Tools for Rest

Written By Rebecca Rauscher

Written by Lucie Eger, Masters Level Intern

The world is busy, the news is loud, you’re being sold something at every metaphorical corner and your schedule is either too full or too empty. Sometimes it all feels like too much and we might hear ourselves saying or thinking “I just need a break”. In the midst of productivity culture and the attention economy, resting can feel like an act of rebellion. 

We can’t hear it often enough: Rest is essential, and actually productive in itself. Rest plays a role in cognitive function, emotional regulation, mood, stress, social engagement, attention… and other parts of being a human in a fast-paced, demanding world. It creates the capacity to show up as yourself. 

Let’s ask ourselves some questions:


  1. What do you need right now?

I consider rest to be all about balance, and you get to define what that means for you. What kind of tired are you? Do you need physical rest, sleep, mental rest, social rest or all of the above? 

What feels restorative, and what feels draining? Scrolling on our phones may provide physical rest, but it doesn’t tend to provide complete mental, emotional or sensory rest. Movement and exercise can be helpful when detaching from a stressful day, and may actually reduce fatigue and build up energy over time. A solo activity may restore your social battery. On the other hand, genuine social connection can feel mentally and emotionally restful. 

When in doubt, slow down, listen in and reconnect to your own inner voice. 

2. What are you waiting for? 

Sometimes we like to believe that once everything is done, then we rest. Then we’ve earned it. 

Hereby, I grant you permission to rest now. You’re allowed. You’ve already earned it. It’s not too late or too soon. There’s always something to do, and it doesn’t all need to be done right now. Choose to rest before exhaustion makes the decision for you. 

Notice any stories your mind comes up with around why you can’t rest. Where possible, approach those stories and yourself with curiosity and compassion.

“We think the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart.” (Pema Chödrön, 2016). 

3. What’s actually realistic for you?

If you’re thinking “that sounds nice, but I don’t have time. I have a two-year-old/a high-stakes job/a demanding cat…” - I hear you. Our lives and environment place many demands on us. Being realistic with your time is important.

What is this season (of life or the year) asking for? How much time can you dedicate to rest? How can you gradually build a system that includes rest? What habits could make way to create more time and space? 

It doesn’t have to be this grand thing, this monumental shift or big reset. The best practices are the ones you actually do. Where possible, reduce opportunities for negotiating with yourself or time spent overthinking. Just do. Practice over perfection. Small changes accumulate over time, and can serve to disrupt the accumulation of stress and overwhelm. 

4. What’s getting in the way?

If you’re waiting for magical moments of motivation, you may find yourself waiting a long time. Motivation can be great to create momentum, but it doesn’t tend to sustain it on its own. Change is very much possible, but something has to change in order for something to change. Sometimes it’s simple, but not easy. 

Deeper questions to ask yourself may include what you may be regulating, avoiding or distracting yourself from. What’s under the surface? What would come up if things quiet down? What do you know about your patterns? 

You’re not alone in this. Lean on the support of others and ask for help where possible. We’re here to support you at every step of the way. 

My dog, the queen of unapologetic rest.

Ideas for Brief Moments of Rest (take or leave as needed): 

1-5 minutes: 

  • Take a deep inhale through the nose almost filling your lungs, then take another short, sharp inhale through the nose. Slowly exhale through the mouth. Repeat a few times. This is called the physiological sigh. Allow your breath to return to a natural rhythm, eyes closed if it’s comfortable and feels safe, turn down the volume of the outer world and do as little as possible for a few moments. Return to your day and repeat as needed.  

  • Take a movement and/or stretch break. If you’re looking for inspiration, YouTube has many options for short, guided movement breaks. 

  • Look out a window. Daydream. Draw something. Find a moment of joy. 

  • Call someone or find an opportunity for brief social connection.  

5-20 minutes: 

Practical Tips: 

  • Consider ways to improve your sleep (reducing screen time before bed, noise reduction, consistent wake times, reducing caffeine late in the day, adjusting the temperature of your bedroom, etc.) 

  • Schedule rest like you would schedule a meeting. Don’t stand yourself up - consistency creates self-trust. 

  • If you tend to reach for your phone or other devices first thing in the morning, can you give yourself a few minutes before you do? Visualize that by checking your social apps and e-mail, you’re letting the world into your living space. Ask yourself: who do you want to share your morning with?

Rest isn't something you arrive at once and for all — it's a practice you return to, again and again, in small moments and larger ones. Some days that looks like a deep breath before you open your laptop. Other days it's an actual nap, an actual walk, an actual "no." However it shows up for you, it counts. You don't need to earn it, perfect it, or wait for the ideal conditions.

You just need to begin, gently, right where you are.

Rebecca Rauscher
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